From Ate with Love

This article is addressed to young ones – the teenagers and the youth. I was once young and impulsive. I was once young and so in love.  Until I realized that love is not just a word or a feeling.

Love. It seems to be the most used and abused word.  Shakespeare said Love is Blind. A lot of young men agree with Shakespeare. Is love really blind?  It should not be. Love is not just a word, especially if it is directed towards the opposite sex. More than the emotions or feelings, it should be a commitment. Love must also conform to the standards of ethics and morality. Thus, even if your neighbor is quite gorgeous, you are forbidden to have an affair with her if she is already married.

Others believe in Love at First Sight. My dear readers, especially the young ones, please do not be deceived by what you see. Love at first sight is not love at all. It is attraction, physical attraction.  It can last for a day, a week, a month, or even years, but it does not guarantee a lasting relationship. Beauty fades, and so does attraction.

The most famous adage when it comes to love is “Follow Your Heart.” When I was younger, about 18, I thought that following my heart would lead me to happiness. But one day, I realized that this fist-size thing beating in my chest cannot be trusted. As written in Jeremiah 17:9, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? (NLT). It is silly for a rational man, created with brains and gifted with the ability to think and discern to depend on his heart. Anatomy says that the heart is just hollow organ that pumps blood throughout the body. It cannot think on its own. It has no free will. It cannot discern. Thus, it is dangerous, really dangerous to simply trust and follow the heart.

When we think about love, we normally associate it with chocolates, flowers, sweet-nothings, the romantic movies, and even sex, but have we ever thought of it as a component for building a lasting relationship? When we think of relationships, are we thinking of a short-term ones?

It is easy for young ones to fall in love, to enter relationship without considering the consequences. In the first place, why would like to be into a relationship? Is it a need or a want? It is a priority? Will it not interfere with your studies and other goals?

Love month. Yes, most of us would love to receive red roses. It would be ‘kilig-to-the-bones’ to hear “I love you” from a handsome guy next door. It would be an ego-booster to date the campus crush. But at the tender age of 16, 17, 18 or even 21, do you really think that you are ready to be into a relationship?

Love is not the only thing that makes the world go round. Valentines and February are just a season of the year. They come and go. But as to you, my dear young readers, you still have a long, long way to go and a good future to make. For now, focus on the things that are more important than being into a girl-boy relationship. Enjoy the season of being a teenager, of being a youth. Save yourself from heartaches and pain brought by wrong perception of love or being in love at the wrong time. Do not love for the sake of loving. Do not enter into a relationship for the sake of conforming to the trends. Do not love because of peer-pressure. You do not love just because your friends have boyfriends/girlfriends. You love and enter into a relationship when you are ready for a commitment.

It is written in Genesis 2:18, Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Do not search for the perfect one. Wait for the right one. The world’s population is quite big. There will always be a man or a woman for you. God will definitely send someone – at the right time, at the tight place, at the right season of your life. Take this as an advice from an “Ate” – an  “Ate”  who was once young and so in love ( but t’was love, at the wrong time).

What is your standard of love? Share your thoughts with us. 

* This article was first published at The Romblon Times, February 2012 Issue